Good afternoon!
I thought I would take the time to blog today because I have nothing planned and sitting in my living room watching YT videos by myself is starting to become depressing. Today has been kind of hard. Actually, most Saturday's are hard because I typically stay home and do nothing. I also do not have much money so I can't go on a boredom-infused shopping spree 😏.
I guess I should begin with why I moved out. I returned to Texas after graduating from a two year bible school. It is important to note that moving to California for the bible school was the first time I ever lived outside of my parent's home-- that was REALLY hard for me but I overcame (hallelujah), and that environment became the reality I grew accustomed to. Well, when I moved back home it felt sort of like I had returned to my home away from home (California). I realized that in my heart California was what I knew and what I had become attached to, but California was no longer my reality. My reality was now Northeast Texas. I actually hated Texas when I returned. I was so discouraged. This added to my displeasure of living back with my mom and dad. I saw that nothing with them and with our house had changed, yet I was so different. I felt trapped and homesick, yet I was home. This led to some arguments with my parents, which afterward made me feel incredibly guilty. The first month of returning home was a valley in my journey, but PTL (praise the Lord) that there was a hill! I began serving full time with the church in Irving. The first day was overwhelmingly enjoyable. The time I spent in my house was full of depression, anger, confusion, and loneliness, but when I came to coordination in the mornings I was so happy to be with others who were seeking the Lord. From the first day I began serving I felt that maybe this is what I was called to do. I did not want to make any hasty decisions so I did not mention it to anyone, but the seed was in my heart. One difficult thing that came with serving was my commute. My hometown and Irving are in between Fort Worth and Dallas. The traffic is usually in the mornings from Fort Worth to Dallas and in the evenings from Dallas to Fort Worth. I was driving with traffic both to and from work. This was very difficult for me because of the nature of a full timer's schedule. Our schedule is not 8-5, but it could be you have nothing to do for two hours and then the next four hours something is happening. It would be a nightmare to drive to and from my house multiple times a day. Due to this (and my taking the GRE) I was only serving part-time, but as I said before, the feeling inside of me was to serve full time. I realized I was not going to be able to do this living with my parents. Apart from the feeling of isolation, it was pretty impractical for me. I prayed and fellowshipped with some brothers, the answer was that the door was open for me to find an apartment and serve full time. It was a month's worth of looking (really like 3 weeks), and I found the place, got approved, paid the money, and now its been almost a month of living on my own
This is a picture of either the first or second day of moving in. It was a mess, obvs. P.S. it doesnt look like that anymore 😉
I thought I would take the time to blog today because I have nothing planned and sitting in my living room watching YT videos by myself is starting to become depressing. Today has been kind of hard. Actually, most Saturday's are hard because I typically stay home and do nothing. I also do not have much money so I can't go on a boredom-infused shopping spree 😏.
I guess I should begin with why I moved out. I returned to Texas after graduating from a two year bible school. It is important to note that moving to California for the bible school was the first time I ever lived outside of my parent's home-- that was REALLY hard for me but I overcame (hallelujah), and that environment became the reality I grew accustomed to. Well, when I moved back home it felt sort of like I had returned to my home away from home (California). I realized that in my heart California was what I knew and what I had become attached to, but California was no longer my reality. My reality was now Northeast Texas. I actually hated Texas when I returned. I was so discouraged. This added to my displeasure of living back with my mom and dad. I saw that nothing with them and with our house had changed, yet I was so different. I felt trapped and homesick, yet I was home. This led to some arguments with my parents, which afterward made me feel incredibly guilty. The first month of returning home was a valley in my journey, but PTL (praise the Lord) that there was a hill! I began serving full time with the church in Irving. The first day was overwhelmingly enjoyable. The time I spent in my house was full of depression, anger, confusion, and loneliness, but when I came to coordination in the mornings I was so happy to be with others who were seeking the Lord. From the first day I began serving I felt that maybe this is what I was called to do. I did not want to make any hasty decisions so I did not mention it to anyone, but the seed was in my heart. One difficult thing that came with serving was my commute. My hometown and Irving are in between Fort Worth and Dallas. The traffic is usually in the mornings from Fort Worth to Dallas and in the evenings from Dallas to Fort Worth. I was driving with traffic both to and from work. This was very difficult for me because of the nature of a full timer's schedule. Our schedule is not 8-5, but it could be you have nothing to do for two hours and then the next four hours something is happening. It would be a nightmare to drive to and from my house multiple times a day. Due to this (and my taking the GRE) I was only serving part-time, but as I said before, the feeling inside of me was to serve full time. I realized I was not going to be able to do this living with my parents. Apart from the feeling of isolation, it was pretty impractical for me. I prayed and fellowshipped with some brothers, the answer was that the door was open for me to find an apartment and serve full time. It was a month's worth of looking (really like 3 weeks), and I found the place, got approved, paid the money, and now its been almost a month of living on my own
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